Getting back in the saddle

Life has been seven shades of lousy for me in the last couple of months, but I am doing what I can to crawl back from my personal wreckage and get my life (both personal and professional) back in order. I'm coloring comic pages for the first time in my life and I can say that I am getting more comfortable with it. One of the two stories I have written has a real chance of seeing print soon and I have gotten a small library of reviews printed on www.comicrelated.com. So I am making it, slowly and somewhat dispassionately at the moment but I am making it. For those who were there for me, thanks.

Tomorrow's a new day, right?

Like a buddy of mine says...time to get off my heine and get to work.

Whistling past the graveyard

I know people mean well and they think that they are helping me when the offer me their condolences on the death of my mother but in the last several days I have come to realize that it is just them "whistling as they walk past the grave yard". Seeing me in my loss reminds them of their own mortality and that idea scares most people shitless. Honestly though, I'm getting a little sick of it and wish people would just move on and leave me alone about it. This is something I need to deal with alone and I wish people just wouldn't talk to me if they have nothing better to say then that I am in their prayers. That does me no good whatsoever and is kind of making me want to pop the next one that says it to me in the face. If that makes me an asshole, I don't care. I'm entitled to deal with this my own way and it is quickly becoming evident to me that my way is that I am going to be mean to people for a while. I'll apologize later because right now I just don't care.

Saturday Stuff

I'm feeling drained mentally today. There is a lot I should and could be doing but I just can't get motivated. Part of it is my back is killing me from falling last week. A big part of it is that I was standing in a hospital room this time last week watching my mother die. I'm not sure what I'm feeling today. Sad...sure, depressed...always but I just feel kind of numb, unfocused. I don't know what to do about it. Except, write this. Maybe I should just go back to bed.